EVOLUTION

Origin

“If we have suffered or expect to suffer some wilful injury from a man, or if he is in any way offensive to us, we dislike him; and dislike easily rises into hatred... Few individuals...can long reflect about a hated person, without feeling and exhibiting signs of indignation or rage.”

- Charles Darwin

            Duct tape is good.
            Multi-purpose.
            Cuts off a cry seals the eyes binds like a dream. Handcuffs don’t do all that now do they?
            Low-risk too. I couldn’t walk the hallowed halls of Hinton High School with a pair of cuffs. But duct tape floatin round a backpack with books cd’s Yodels...That my friends raises no questions.
            Got a new backpack when I came here last month. Duct tape’s safely stowed inside. Haven’t used it here yet.
            Soon.
            Been dealin with more new things. New state. New family if we must call em that. New residence. Not a home.
            There’s no place called home.
            New name.
Kennedy. Darwin Kennedy. Sounds better than Darwin Butensky anyway.
            Sometimes I wonder why Momma named me Darwin. Did she know who Darwin was? Did she realize someday I’d be studyin evolution? The evolution of pain that is.
            I doubt she understood much about Darwin. Stupid bitch dropped out of school at fifteen ta have me an she didn’t go much before that. Most likely Darwin was the one word she heard through a dope induced haze on a day she made it to her desk. She was so stoned it stuck bouncin round the hollows of her brain til I made my entrance.
            Hey I didn’t ask ta be born. But here I am an now someone’s gonna fuckin pay.
            Momma taught me a lot bout payin. Pain too. Like when she stubbed her Newports out on my skin.
            Too bad bout that cigarette settin her bed on fire last month. Now I can’t ask her bout my name or anythin else.
            Yeah I felt a little bad havin acted on impulse like that. How many times can a body take a crack to the head with an empty bottle of blackberry brandy before strikin back?
            Strikin a match that is.
            But hell I getta live in a big house on Long Island now near a goddamn country club golf course an all. Hot shit. I tell you Orlando was nooo fun. There’s no never-never land when you’re piss poor. No pixie dust. An the mouse? Trailer park folks don’t get to see that high-pitched rodent much less they’re sweepin up droppins in the parks.
            I’m a direct result of tourism. Dad was on break from college. A senior at NYU. Momma was workin the Space Mountain line after school and weekends, waitin ta be discovered. Momma had it in her head ta be a country western star. It was a true miracle she had anythin in her head at all. I can just see her standin there in her dumb space uniform with an even dumber look on her face crackin her gum hummin ‘Stand By Your Man’ like some scout from the Grand Ole Opry was gonna be so taken that he’d say hell with this ride hell with my vacation let’s go baby I’m gonna make ya famous. Guess she got bored waitin. She spotted Dad liked what she saw took him off the line sent him into orbit right on the floor in the dark rocket ships whizzin by...
            Dumb-ass Dad gave Momma his address case she ever came to New York.
            Next thing he knew Dad got a letter from Florida...
            Surprise you stupid fuck. You getta send money every month to a bimbo you banged on Space Mountain. Would’ve been better just ta wait your turn on line now wouldn it?
            Could’ve been worse for Dad though. Hell there was plenty more money where that came from. An it wasn’t like he had to actually see his little mistake or anythin.
            Until now.
            Big surprise when the cops found those papers. I didn’t even know Momma knew my dad’s name. She loved ta tell me the tale of my conception ta make me feel even more special than I already did I s’pose. Only she left out the part where she hit payday. Thank God I didn’t wait for the whole trailer ta go up before I came runnin back an screamed for help.
            Poor Momma was always smokin in bed  I tearfully recalled ta the officers. They nodded. One patted my back said it happens all too often people fallin asleep with lit cigarettes.
            Don’t I know it.
            They changed everythin those papers the cops found. Now I live in Lawford. With my dad. Good ole Dad who faithfully sent child support money every month for seventeen years. Too bad he wasn’t round ta make sure the money went ta me instead of up Momma’s nostrils.
            Hmmm...nostrils. Never tried duct tape on them.
            Dad has some bucks. An a wife Jill who’s a real piece of ass. A daughter too. A daughter who’s worth being with.
            Or maybe it’s wifey he sticks around for — hotter en hell, she is — an the kid’s  just somethin ta tolerate.
            Maybe my half sister’s kinda like the gardeners. Dad hates the noise they make outside all the mowin an all. But he’s gotta put up with the racket if he wants his lawn maintained.
            The kid’s not bad actually. Karyn her name is. Sixteen years old. Tells jokes but they’re just a cover for what’s underneath. I can tell. I’m good at that tellin things bout people. That’s one of the things that makes it easier.
            She’s all skinny and pale Karyn is. But funny. She can be really fuckin funny.
            And she’s got great tits. Never saw a pair like em on someone so scrawny.
            Maybe I’ll leave Karyn be. It’s not her fault her bein here in the middle of everythin.
            Maybe...
            Gettin back to Florida I have to say it’s fuckin excellent to be outta there. For one thing I have more brain cells than the rest of the population combined. It was just wrong me livin there. An abomination.
            Number two it was beyond borin down there. The big excitement was which all-you-can-eat buffet to heifer down in on pay day. Besides bein stupid everyone was too stuffed with ham hocks an grits ta move.
            Sittin ducks make dull as hell targets.
            It’s all bout evolution. I evolved right the fuck outta that trailer park.
            Momma taught me all bout takin pain far back as I can remember.
            Now I’m learnin all bout givin it.

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